The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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