Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
