non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
