You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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