I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
