i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
