You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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