I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
