Don't make out with my wife yet
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
