So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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