Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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