i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
