Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
