So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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