i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
