come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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