okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
