I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
