I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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