Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
