Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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