and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
