I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
