Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
