i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
