Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nicole vs. Life
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
