Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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