based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
