I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
