Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize