I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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