no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
