dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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