So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found puke in my bra..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
