sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
