He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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