i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
