So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it hurts more in the daytime
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
