last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
