i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
