i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
