He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
