I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
