dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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