Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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