AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You did what with his pubic hair?
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