forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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