she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize