make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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