if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
