I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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