Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
