That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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