Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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