I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
