Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize