Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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