We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
