I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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