D3 body, D1 cock
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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