When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
