belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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